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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Sapphy

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Sapphy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3018
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sapphy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (13570)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (19990)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

#6544765 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (9089)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:00am - love - by toastedguy (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20043) - you deserved it (13149)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (6427) - you deserved it (15264)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (19346)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML

#6310679 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33649)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML

#6284625 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

#6282921 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5314) - you deserved it (25458)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:45am - love - by cndpost (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (6222)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you deserved it (31212)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)