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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (1202)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (1497)
On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (2183)
On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (1470)
On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (3187)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you deserved it (18076)
On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (1120)
On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (4928)
On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (9447)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (3452)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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