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50 favourites
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Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50523) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140444) - you deserved it (32112)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (57007)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (6906)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (11661)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7929) - you deserved it (66426)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (48398)
On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (48398)
On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56534) - you deserved it (8223)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59075) - you deserved it (8849)
On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59075) - you deserved it (8849)
On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML
I agree, your life sucks (57153) - you deserved it (3418)
On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77950) - you deserved it (2676)
On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363187) - you deserved it (20216)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (85308)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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