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50 favourites
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Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37124) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (12624)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (5777)
On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (12845)
On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (3807)
On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (8920)
On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51579) - you deserved it (9918)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States
Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (23863)
On 05/23/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by THANKS4theINFO (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (7541)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57419) - you deserved it (6234)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you deserved it (2327)
On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States
Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (1796)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States
Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7645) - you deserved it (29221)
On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (2126)
On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
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