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50 favourites
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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (27644)
On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17210) - you deserved it (7928)
On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (5048)
On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (4287)
On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (4877)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (16287)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (3625)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1620)
On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version
I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (4935)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (6206)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (3855)
On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (2901)
On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)
Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (13473)
On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States
Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (12900)
On 09/02/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by ItsObamasFault - United States
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (4379)
On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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