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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (21129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (1931)
On 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (2441)
On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (8008)
On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (19382)
On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (19382)
On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (58514)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (3504)
On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10089) - you deserved it (41819)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10089) - you deserved it (41819)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (3009)
On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (34603)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40470) - you deserved it (13598)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Monday 20 May 2013
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