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50 favourites
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Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (6510)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (6068)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1270)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (9382)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (8898)
On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (8898)
On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63457) - you deserved it (2811)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (2166)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (10599)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (11381)
On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (2494)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -
Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (5827)
On 05/20/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56321) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90750) - you deserved it (9936)
On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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