Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SammyS2012

Search for a member

SammyS2012
  • Town/Country : Miami, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 May 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3153
  • Number of comments : 703
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SammyS2012 : Ummm, hi?

Well I'm Sammy. I am on this site 99% of the time by means of the app, so I don't really see private messages.

There's not much to say :/ I'm a boring person.

I try to be as polite as I can in comments, but sometimes you can tell there's some attitude in it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and to see all perspectives.

That's pretty much it? Bye!

SammyS2012's last visitors

eepieGxReaperGxjubejube239Andy714melonsjulakojizzwold

SammyS2012's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SammyS2012's badges

SammyS2012's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (2813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47985) - you deserved it (3649)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (13917)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

#14554421
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/12/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19436) - you deserved it (9305)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (4656)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44225) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

#14448296
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (4239)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (8374)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

#14286493
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

#14284666
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (7119)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (36023)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (5978)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: