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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Samilla

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Samilla
  • Town/Country : Denmark
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 March 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 9192
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Samilla's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (31746) - you deserved it (1332)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (2873)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (1137)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (2054)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (6636)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (31893) - you deserved it (1449)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (1754)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58523) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (16280) - you deserved it (1370)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (1191)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (4262)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

#5721043 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (18396)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (54089) - you deserved it (6455)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)