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About Sam_d07 : Don\'t like to write these stuff. Feel free to ask.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4308) - you deserved it (12925)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (4001)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (3469)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8151) - you deserved it (1012)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (6858)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (1571)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (2213)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (5840)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12109) - you deserved it (902)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (2093)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (2408)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (1034)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (5544)
On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (2685)
On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (1488)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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