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SamSwebb

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SamSwebb
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SamSwebb : Just wandering through life..

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SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30440) - you deserved it (8851)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (5056)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (2975)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (3500)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (3264)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to work at the restaurant instead of going to the prom, which nobody asked me out to. For five hours, I got to shamefully greet and seat people on their way home from the prom, all of whom knew I was too lame to get asked out. FML

#21111507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39134) - you deserved it (3752)

On 04/12/2014 at 11:01pm - work - by annoyed teen - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31753) - you deserved it (7448)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57117) - you deserved it (27255)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38104) - you deserved it (10613)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39317) - you deserved it (3587)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50650) - you deserved it (3225)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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