Sakura_

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Sakura_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1591
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Sakura_ : Hi....

Sakura_'s page activity

Visits<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:15pm<b>cal_drmr</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 3:55am<b>CrAcK90</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 11:41pm

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Sakura_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

by dotcomboy / 07/28/2009 at 11:23am / United States / Work

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

by Al / 06/22/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

by failedmusician / 06/03/2009 at 6:06am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

by tsakashvili / 05/26/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

by kiki / 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

by holly / 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

by zbaby / 05/23/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids