Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sakura13

Search for a member

Sakura13
  • Town/Country : Maastricht, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 April 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3906
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Sakura13's last visitors

Federgirlcolts609380AGB10WhiteCrimsoncapt_awesome1Coeliacchic93cobra2012nodborlmc94S7YXFreezeerpaderp

Sakura13's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Sakura13's badges

Sakura13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (7259)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5145) - you deserved it (51074)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (45954)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

#465
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16886) - you deserved it (1681)

On 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by Butterfly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16440) - you deserved it (8103)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7773) - you deserved it (50666)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (5627)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (6122)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (10376)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266603) - you deserved it (23311)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: