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Sakura13

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Sakura13
  • Town/Country : Maastricht, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 April 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3799
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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Sakura13's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

#19991008
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5585) - you deserved it (18680)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (1907)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (49270)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15868) - you deserved it (1219)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (3890)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (3001)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (9496)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (19562)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (2047)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2196)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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