About SaintT : I'm in the United States Marine Corps. I'm simply counting down the days 'till I get out and start over as a civilian. I love to work out, skateboard, and play the drums, guitar, and bass guitar and yes, I gun bro.
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SaintT's favorite FMLs
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 5:21am / United States / Money
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by buccaneer / 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
by afraidofcans / 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Nana / 10/22/2012 at 11:39am / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML
by cargaljen / 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm / United States / Love
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…