About SaintT : I'm in the United States Marine Corps. I'm simply counting down the days 'till I get out and start over as a civilian. I love to work out, skateboard, and play the drums, guitar, and bass guitar and yes, I gun bro.
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SaintT's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids
by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by SweetStuff88 / 11/15/2012 at 8:37am / United States / Love
Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML
by sarahcurtis213 / 11/13/2012 at 2:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
by Mmkay1515 / 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
by Danny / 11/11/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation