About SaintT : I'm in the United States Marine Corps. I'm simply counting down the days 'till I get out and start over as a civilian. I love to work out, skateboard, and play the drums, guitar, and bass guitar and yes, I gun bro.
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SaintT's favorite FMLs
by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy
by Nyquilwtf / 09/23/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Health
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/20/2012 at 8:31am / United States / Geek
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
by ClaireBear150 / 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by Shame / 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my husband decided to sell my car, which is in excellent working condition. Why? He decided… Today, I was craving a bean & cheese burrito. After trying to forget about burritos for half of the… Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.…