About SWhimsynBubbaS : I finally put some of my lazy ways behind me to tell you some things about myself. My name is Mariah and I come on FML to get a good laugh in or just to see some of people's crazy situations. I generally am a laid-back person (my way of saying lazy) who loves to sit back and relax. I can, however, be a bolt of energy when im caught on the right times. I love socializing with people, although I am a shy person when i first meet someone, in most cases. I love listening to music. I'm a smiley and giggly person which, I can admit, can get a little annoying at times. And finally, my username. Its just a mix of all of my pets names put together so it looks like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. I absolutely love animals and wish to become a veterinarian. So there are some stuff about me! Now, back to the site...
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SWhimsynBubbaS's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2015 at 10:09am / United States / Kids
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
by driven_crazy / 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…