Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SMHsohard

Online | Search for a member

SMHsohard

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 October 1956 (58 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3759
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SMHsohard : Been an RN probably longer than most of you have been around, so if I mention something medical, you can pretty much assume I know what I'm talking about.

Too damn old to play the suck up game, so if I mention I like someone's comment or think a certain poster sounds like fun, take it for what it is: a compliment.

A word about FML moderation-submissions with any of the following: "today I farted/pooped my pants/got my period and someone pointed it out /put an inappropriate pic on Facebook/drank too much/discovered my crush doesn't know i'm alive/missed an important call because I was busy playing Call of Duty/slept with the wrong sister" will be summarily down voted. As Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid."

SMHsohard's page activity

Visits<b>hollenbackam</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>Steffi3</b> - yesterday at 7:54am<b>Steve95401</b> - yesterday at 1:46am<b>BoundBySpace</b> - yesterday at 11:21pm<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:38am<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:48pm<b>lukian</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:28pm<b>JigokuShoujo87</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:42pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:56pm<b>w_introuble</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:44pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 11:25am<b>Scryll</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:56am<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:34am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:54am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Zeeres</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:45pm

Liked!<b>lukian</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:28am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:54am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:00am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>ronski</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:56pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:31pm<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 7:48am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:19pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:06pm

SMHsohard's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SMHsohard's badges

SMHsohard's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (10202)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (2436)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2140)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (6945)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was demoted as a bridesmaid in a wedding because I dyed my hair, and didn't ask permission from the bride to do so. The bride is my sister. FML

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18182) - you deserved it (33)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (2507)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (5685)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: