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Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 12:38am) | Search for a member
About SMHsohard : Been an RN probably longer than most of you have been around, so if I mention something medical, you can pretty much assume I know what I'm talking about.
Too damn old to play the suck up game, so if I mention I like someone's comment or think a certain poster sounds like fun, take it for what it is: a compliment.
A word about FML moderation-submissions with any of the following: "today I farted/pooped my pants/got my period and someone pointed it out /put an inappropriate pic on Facebook/drank too much/discovered my crush doesn't know i'm alive/missed an important call because I was busy playing Call of Duty/slept with the wrong sister" will be summarily down voted. As Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid."
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML
Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML
Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML
Friday 5 February 2016