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Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (2583)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56879) - you deserved it (8057)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52975) - you deserved it (5626)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (1327)
On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (6511)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (3978)
On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (49586)
On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (106423)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (9871)
On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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