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SApprentice

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SApprentice
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1787
  • Number of comments : 499
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 47 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

SApprentice's last visitors

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SApprentice's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (1911)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new (and very expensive) laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one! Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (2500)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16685) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (1225)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (31071)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (7081)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

#392
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14640) - you deserved it (31217)

On 11/26/2008 at 1:18am - misc - by ripo95 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (6850)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (10174)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (6158)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (3375)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (7333)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (5099)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50100) - you deserved it (2521)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)



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