About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.
I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.
Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.
I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.
That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (1884)
On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (6260)
On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (2526)
On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (3906)
On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (37138)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6738) - you deserved it (49013)
On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in my back yard and I saw my neighbours daughter choking on something. I ran over and gave her the heimlich maneuver. It turns out her friend was recording her while she was doing her drama project for school. I broke two of her ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (11957)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by Bob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (5546)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:23am - health - by squishyboy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (7635)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49110) - you deserved it (8234)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (10106)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (119754) - you deserved it (8429)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (3838)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answer: 'Well, you don't kiss me often either!". So now she keeps kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5820) - you deserved it (26385)
On 12/22/2008 at 2:45am - love - by Julian - Sent from mobile version
Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13213) - you deserved it (1490)
On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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