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SApprentice

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SApprentice
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3412
  • Number of comments : 500
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 49 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

SApprentice's last visitors

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SApprentice's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (1700)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

#20045388
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1071)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13507) - you deserved it (5981)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

#20039352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (13652)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (1751)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17071) - you deserved it (1438)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10357) - you deserved it (16497)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (2295)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13967) - you deserved it (25359)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML

#19532627
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (5409)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (3577)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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