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Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8986
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>Starzak</b> - yesterday at 12:07am<b>purefire243</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:49am<b>neverready</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:37pm<b>mr_dour</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:05am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:09pm<b>skyironsword</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:14pm<b>Cherhorowitz</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:20pm<b>zonlach</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:55pm<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>noizer</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:35pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:32pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:52am<b>opheliakc</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:00am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:54pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:14pm<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 8:17pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:38am<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:32pm

Fucked!<b>Jacoobie</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:36am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:01am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:26pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:09am<b>steph2987</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:59pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:14am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:53am<b>ToxicMoo33</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:03am<b>PonyButt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:43am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:02am

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (5230)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33469) - you deserved it (4957)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (7143)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (5217)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (1874)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (1662)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (3909)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (1922)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (2883)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (1850)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (8727)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12929) - you deserved it (23991)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

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