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SApprentice

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm) | Search for a member

SApprentice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6619
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:12am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:52am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:11am<b>frbrbrb</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:34am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:42am<b>tomboy4life11</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:56pm<b>TCRII</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:28pm<b>scarface847</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:30am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:48am<b>SneezyBear</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:19am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:08pm<b>caiteemarie91</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Druu</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:56am<b>Butters_stotch</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:05am<b>stingray112</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:49pm

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58088) - you deserved it (16258)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (36082)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (6318)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (6789)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (20141)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (5483)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (7971)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (9224)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33077) - you deserved it (2984)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)



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