About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.
I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.
Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.
I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.
That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44647) - you deserved it (2256)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44306) - you deserved it (4198)
On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50026) - you deserved it (13605)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (35496)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (3437)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12118) - you deserved it (27034)
On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)
Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (2577)
On 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by esbemebe1113 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (6472)
On 03/25/2013 at 1:04am - animals - by brittyed (woman) - United States
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (5593)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (6206)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (2277)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (14185)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26136) - you deserved it (10130) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (6026)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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