SApprentice

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Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm)

SApprentice

43Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9597
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:45am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 9:54am<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:58pm<b>saucetheman</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 4:30am<b>theRonin</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:00am<b>Fuckthisbeabitch</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 8:17am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 10:51pm<b>ladyartemis</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:56pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Benmantha</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:19am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:45pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:55pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Onigori</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:31am<b>gms0113</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:05am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:49am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:22am<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 7:20pm<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:19pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:40pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:08pm<b>lilysykesss</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Soosuj</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>crack229</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>unipup122</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:22am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 1:49am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:22pm<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:49pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:17pm<b>facbine33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:49pm<b>Coffee5555</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:23pm<b>LZ8448</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:06pm

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

by Cat vs. Dog / 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.