Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SAMMILLER098

Search for a member

SAMMILLER098

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1051
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SAMMILLER098 : I love volleyball!!! Love my family and friends and also taken by the best guy ever!!

SAMMILLER098's page activity

Visits<b>morrow32</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:42am<b>orbit</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:03am<b>Azalea18</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:20pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:22am<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:14pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:08am<b>pimpman312</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 9:29am<b>drewTheMan</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:54pm<b>chuckrepublic</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:14pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:16am<b>amberv61</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:50pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:20pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm<b>habsfan_8</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Npinzon1994</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:35pm<b>MrBoredomioo</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:25am<b>mata2</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 4:41pm

SAMMILLER098's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

SAMMILLER098's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (8913)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

#18500551
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (32233)

On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (4704)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (6050)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (7474)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (5155)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (8882)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

#18047798
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (16290)

On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (9194)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51111) - you deserved it (8046)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: