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Ryzaki

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Ryzaki

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  • Number of visits : 657
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ryzaki's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (8205)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (8179)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12646) - you deserved it (49463)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (13426)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

#16338275
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (9005)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48314) - you deserved it (7848)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51132) - you deserved it (4373)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67095) - you deserved it (10340)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

#13639507
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27915) - you deserved it (5870)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:02pm - love - by Mal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75275) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (3971)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65072) - you deserved it (7996)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)



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