Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ry4n1ke

Search for a member

Ry4n1ke

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1435
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ry4n1ke's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>MissUnperfect</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 9:41pm<b>marvin</b> - the 04/21/2010 at 12:55am

Ry4n1ke's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Ry4n1ke's badges

Ry4n1ke's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69682) - you deserved it (6564)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (7379) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40094) - you deserved it (26549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (50669)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (8751)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (3928)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40088) - you deserved it (8578)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112532) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (21527)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (10647)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

#13961459
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (4341)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (12305)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (5923)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: