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Ruler3000

Offline (yesterday at 4:52am) | Search for a member

Ruler3000

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1595
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Ruler3000 : People annoy me - except my girlfriend. She's amazing and I love her >:D

Ruler3000's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:16pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:21am<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:10pm<b>dsw144</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:38pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:51pm<b>PeterPansGirl</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:14am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:38am<b>adamjcurryy</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:33am<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:47pm<b>currly_fry</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:55am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:41am<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Zezifus</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:12am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:30pm<b>MarineMommy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:15am<b>l0lmadis0n</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:11pm

Ruler3000's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Ruler3000's badges

Ruler3000's favorite FMLs

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42275) - you deserved it (7746)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (37932)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (7992)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (7961)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (4999)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45891) - you deserved it (5302)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

#21150097
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (18660)

On 05/24/2014 at 11:22am - misc - by Lindsey (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61358) - you deserved it (14100)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (6047)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (5538)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (3315)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (3953)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML



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