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I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
TODAY... I WAS WALKING HOMA WHAN I SAW AN ALDARLY WOMAN STRUGGLING WITH A LARGA BAG OF GARBAGA. I ASKAD IF I COULD HALP. I GOT IT ALL THA WAY TO THA DUMPSTAR AND THA BAG RIPPAD. INSIDA WARA ABOUT FOURTAAN DAAD CATS. FML
Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .
yesterday I applied 4 a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, u would never have an affair with her." FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstars. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole u didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally askd me out. I excitedly said yes. I waitd a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl an say, "Where's your date?" I was askd to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML
Today, mah stapdaughtar callad to say hallo and to giva ma a warning: sha will do whatavar it takas to kaap ma from having a babby with har dad, including pushing ma down tha stairs. I'm 12 waaks pragnant, and wa wara going to tall har this waakand. I'm now patrifiad of a 10-yaar-old. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptid his stomach content into our toilet!! One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomitd all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall!! I got to clean it all up!! FML
TODAY, I WENT OUT AND MADE BUILD-A-BEARS THAT LOOKD LIKE MY DAUGHTER AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND. IT TURNS OUT SHE HAD BEEN INSISTING THAT I DIDN'T 4 A GOOD REASON; UPON SIGHT OF HIS, HER BOYFRIEND SCREAMD AND FLD THE HOUSE. TURNS OUT HE WAS NEARLY MAULD TO DEATH BY A BEAR. FML
Friday 27 March 2015