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I’m your new creative director
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RubbarDuckie's favorite FMLs
by they've been broken up for a year. / 11/19/2012 at 2:13am / United States (Texas) / Love
by lellow_171 / 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML
by soldnone / 11/18/2012 at 5:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
by mfischer / 11/16/2012 at 4:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
by grocerystalker / 11/16/2012 at 12:58am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
by spaceforrent / 11/16/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Love
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
by Sexting Parents / 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…