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Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (2450)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9317) - you deserved it (37952)
On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (9409)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (1958)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (4005)
Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (6872)
On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)
Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2645)
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (2700)
On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (1383)
On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (1768)
On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (1378)
On 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (5247)
On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (2442)
On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13252) - you deserved it (44591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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