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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Monday 1 September 2014