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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Rolo1's favorite FMLs
by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe / 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm / Sweden / Animals
by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
by annoyed / 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids
by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by IHateMyLife / 09/22/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by News-print Face Kate / 07/18/2012 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom / Work
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…