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Rokksteady's favorite FMLs
by Ugh-Lee / 09/30/2010 at 11:07am / United States / Love
Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML
by milhouse86 / 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…