About Roflsauruz : Lame-person-hating nay-sayer.
....And just about the most negative person you'll ever meet.
(Sorry, that's all. :/..........)
About Roflsauruz : Lame-person-hating nay-sayer.
Roflsauruz's FML badges
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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
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100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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Roflsauruz's favorite FMLs
by sadphonegirl / 06/16/2012 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
by Rebecca / 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by fledermausi / 06/12/2012 at 9:02am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by crotchshothottie / 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML
by danielle887 / 07/07/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML
by girlwithaprob / 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML
by sleeplessinID / 08/15/2010 at 3:23am / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML
by Dude / 01/21/2010 at 6:41am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have… Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom,… Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…