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2day my friand hrad a mala strippar to giva ma a lap danca fir my brthday. It was all pratty nica until ha lat rip ona of tha most nausaating farts I'va avar ancountarad, right in my faca. Hours latar, I can still small it. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML
I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying . Suddenly.. . I had to poop worse than I ever had to in mah entire life . The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking mah tireshile I let out the entire contents of mah bowels onto the road . FML
I asked boyfriendhere he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No I mean at Wendy's. You know the hot girl from work?" FML
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML
today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echod through the meditation chamber . If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros . FML
yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015