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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (7235) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31248) - you deserved it (1671)
On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (1387)
On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6460)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (1990)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8432) - you deserved it (57399) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14773) - you deserved it (69182)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (3754)
On 06/25/2011 at 12:31am - love - by yearbook369 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56465) - you deserved it (8697)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (4362)
On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Petitprof (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2165)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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