Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Riiley

Search for a member

Riiley
  • Town/Country : Florida
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 8574
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Riiley's last visitors

FedergirlStarzakmein_blut69the_rude_dudethisguy184TthugAyezedregenerateLaxinitupKingAbe88kozzard

Riiley's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Riiley's badges

Riiley's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (4371)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

#17575324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (3881)

On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (39369)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48377) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (8374)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (11920)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45168) - you deserved it (8493)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: