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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (1729)
On 09/17/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by ironik970 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (4071)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2560)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71997) - you deserved it (9157)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (3545)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom
Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (2289)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (5185)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (19838)
On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (4239)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (2124)
On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (4855)
On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (4010)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (7078)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (2560)
On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (2155)
On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Monday 17 June 2013
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