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Riiley

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Riiley
  • Town/Country : Florida
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 8570
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Riiley's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Riiley's favorite FMLs

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36771) - you deserved it (4461)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80475) - you deserved it (11876)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (3593)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (6686)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (25392)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

#17683604
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (2221)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

#17682906
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (6231)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18525) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)



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