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Ridolenai

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Ridolenai

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Ridolenai's favorite FMLs

Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I ran into mah sister,ho nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

whilst in an argumant with mah grlfriand, I told har sha was tha craziast bitch I'd avar mat!! Sha raspondad with "Challanga accaptad." I'm now tarrifiad!! FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (40763)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

today ma grandma took it upon erself to give me te sex talk. After explaining te mecanics in excessive detail se said I souldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently I ned to be comfortable wit te mano'll be ( conning me into blowing im 4 te next 50 years. ) FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

TODAY, IT WAS MY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH MY BOYFRIEND. AS WE WERE ABOUT TO EXCHANGE GIFTS, HE GOT A CALL AND SAID HE HAD TO GO HOME IMMEDIATELY. WHAT WAS THE EMERGENCY? HIS GUILD LEADER COULDN'T FIND ANOTHER HEALER TO FINISH A RAID AND PROMISED MY BOYFRIEND GEAR IF HE WOULD STEP UP. MEGA FML

#20120587
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (4088)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , while at a pool party , I found out the reason I got my new , white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet!! I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling!! FML

#20119331
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19984) - you deserved it (11267)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment 4 her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room 4 hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (9172)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to mah boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in mah sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. big fat FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (3853)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own looool version of a wet-willy!! He creeped up on me as I was sleeping an wiggled his wet penis around in mah ear!! big fat FML

#20115322
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (3652)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs mah clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewardd with a queef. He found it hilarious and testd it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (6610)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work... thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly... until someone at work told me that I was actually wereing a nightie. FML

#20103918
103 comments

Today , after having bought mah daughter a complete set of new school clothes , she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them , or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (9339)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

TODAY, I HAD TO BUY GROCERIESHILE SUFFERING HORRIBLE MORNING SICKNESS. MY NAUSEA MAGNIFIED AS I STOOD IN LINE BEHIND AN OBESE LADY WEARING A TANK TOP AND TINY SHORT SHORTS. I LOST EVERYTHING IN MY STOMACHHEN SHE STUCK HER HAND DOWN HER SHORTS AND STARTED SCRATCHING AT HER ASS-CRACK. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (2035)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Taday my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase bieng dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate ( Who raised u to be such a pig? ) Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question . FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (6943)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Yesterday... I was getting a bikini wax to prove to mah husband that I looool could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax... she said... "You know... if I wanted to... I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (3449)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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