About RhymePrime : ↔◄₧₪№℅♠♥♫♪♦◦◙◊╬╦╤╬
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (5987)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I logged into facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, they were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (4514)
On 06/13/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Facebook (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8690) - you deserved it (52612)
On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (62239)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (6858)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81143) - you deserved it (15206)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (43069)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41517) - you deserved it (6647)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:03am - work - by person (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73204) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49840) - you deserved it (4505)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by dogs_and_toucans (man) - United States
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (271312)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (3623)
On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76885) - you deserved it (4852)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (58792)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56511) - you deserved it (2674)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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