About RhymePrime : ↔◄₧₪№℅♠♥♫♪♦◦◙◊╬╦╤╬
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (13096)
On 06/29/2009 at 6:59pm - misc - by peace_lost (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52860) - you deserved it (3995)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54527) - you deserved it (5346)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (10521)
On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (10521)
On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50666) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38964) - you deserved it (3020)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (5387)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
I agree, your life sucks (45938) - you deserved it (2389)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (47237)
On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52225) - you deserved it (20568)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (7805)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (26132)
On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (2217)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (9818)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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