About RhymePrime : ↔◄₧₪№℅♠♥♫♪♦◦◙◊╬╦╤╬
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82576) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (8464)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (8531)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78735) - you deserved it (18476)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57446) - you deserved it (9135)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you deserved it (25598)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (17206)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (5497)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54923) - you deserved it (5430)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54847) - you deserved it (11480)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14005) - you deserved it (45926)
On 08/01/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by homewrecker (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59663) - you deserved it (12178)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (7078)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting ready for a date. I spent extra time getting ready in the shower, making sure I was all shaved. I was shaving my upper lip to make sure I didn't have a mustache. I cut my lip really badly, leaving the most noticable razor cut on my face for my date. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (19972)
On 07/25/2009 at 6:22pm - love - by dajfleasd (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63457) - you deserved it (6337)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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