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Rhian00's favorite FMLs
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by amanda / 07/23/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 8:13am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by ohmygod / 06/20/2013 at 1:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…