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Rhian00's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work
by notsogood / 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Ggirl / 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals
Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML
by novapine / 10/01/2013 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…