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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Rhbk898

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Rhbk898
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  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (42731) - you deserved it (6899)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my music recital. I was playing and sneezed really loud into my saxophone which made the mouthpiece blurt out of my mouth. I have a neck strap and as the saxophone came back towards me the mouthpiece hit me in the head. I knocked myself out in front of the audience. FML

#2303498 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3559)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by hahacopster (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (15820) - you deserved it (30112)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (37879)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (11080)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (58300) - you deserved it (11968)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (7542) - you deserved it (63696)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5-year old for a few seconds. The guy that had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

#253814 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (34037)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:45pm - work - by ADH2000 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (60787) - you deserved it (12560)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (76406)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (6044)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)



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