About Remegy : Nothing much to say...
I'm an avid movie freak
I like The Simpsons, Futurama, and House MD
And feel free to PM me if you want
About Remegy : Nothing much to say...
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Remegy's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML
by Kat / 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
by thissucks / 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by Kerry / 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
by no_service / 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML
by enderw / 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML
by flowerfail / 06/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML
by idiotfriend / 06/16/2009 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML
by JustAGiftCardPlease / 06/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
by kjmsit / 06/16/2009 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
by rukus / 06/15/2009 at 11:25pm / Canada / Transportation
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
by kitkat545 / 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- Today, I nearly suffocated myself. How? I had my blanket over my face, and as I yawned, I inhaled… Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by… Today, I found out my dad got married to someone my age. Also found out she might be pregnant, I am…