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Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys, the tv and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah and they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you totally deserved it (931)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you totally deserved it (833)
On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15428) - you totally deserved it (1250)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he proceeded to sing "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13985) - you totally deserved it (4523)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8613) - you totally deserved it (2670)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you totally deserved it (45153)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you totally deserved it (14638)
On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14967) - you totally deserved it (6113)
On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I left my room to take a quick shower. When I came back, I found out that my roommate had locked the door. She also left for the entire weekend. I had to wait in a towel for someone to get the RA to unlock my door for twenty minutes as the whole floor laughed their asses off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15872) - you totally deserved it (3015)
On 10/24/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by warren16C (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you totally deserved it (3852)
On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13553) - you totally deserved it (3679)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9277) - you totally deserved it (20619)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you totally deserved it (2189)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you totally deserved it (1651)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you totally deserved it (4172)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:29am - kids - by FAIL (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
