About Rejectofsociety9 : Nicky, 18.
Charming, sadistic, depraved, lustful, poetic.
I love to write. I love to sing. I love to go crazy to a good song. I like to take photographs.
I'm a bit of a whore, and despite wanting to settle down one day, I'll have plenty of fun before I get there. My ideal girl is just as much of a peverted, sexual deviant as I am.
About Rejectofsociety9 : Nicky, 18.
Rejectofsociety9's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Rejectofsociety9's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
by victoriassecret / 03/03/2010 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
by kit_kat14 / 02/19/2010 at 9:27am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by btg / 02/06/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Transportation
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
by notguilty / 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, My two Co-Workers and I realized that we have been working for the same company for years as… Today, I found out that my uncle died. By reading about it on Facebook. Apparently everyone forgot… Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant…